From a young age we’re taught that certain feelings are “bad”. So, we end up avoiding them altogether because we don't know how to hold certain confusing feelings. We bury them away to keep a sense of “order” in our lives. We find ourselves caring more about convincing everyone we’re okay than actually being okay.
Mental strength is not about being calm and happy all the time. Much like an overflowing email inbox, our minds can become cluttered with unresolved emotions and thoughts. We push them aside, thinking we'll deal with them later, but they continue to accumulate, weighing us down. These little messages start stacking up. If you don’t ever open them, you end up 1000+ notifications deep and miss crucial information and insights to move your life forward.
Our feelings, fears and doubts are just pieces of data that exist to guide us through life. They are signals to refocus our energy somewhere, to make a change, to rest, to move and so on. They show us what we want, what we don’t want so we can create what we truly need.
Just like the physical pain we experience when touching something painfully hot, emotional pain tells us to move away and let go of a thought or situation that no longer serves us. And if we don't address them, we end up spending more time over analyzing and worrying then using them to guide our next step. Everything is more complicated in our heads!
It takes flipping the script when it comes to all of our thoughts and feelings (even the painful ones). You can think of them like a best friend or mentor here to help and guide you toward what's truly meant for you. When you do, it all feels less scary. It starts with the awareness to notice it, validate yourself, get curious and then course correct. Letting yourself cry out what’s bothering you or allowing yourself to feel like total shit. A great question I love to start with is: "What is this feeling trying to tell/teach me?". To take a moment to just be with the feeling, talk it out, journal about it and validate it, "anyone else in this situation would feel the same".
Just as what we resist, persists. Once we accept the “negative” feeling we can let go and move forward.
Ask yourself:
What thoughts or feelings have you been avoiding (that may actually be pivotal to your growth)?
What are you missing at this moment?
Are there any needs that are going unmet? (i.e. do I feel misunderstood / unheard / disrespected)?
Are your actions in alignment with what you truly desire to feel?
Are you forcing or flowing?
If you’re looking for support with processing feelings, coaching provides a structure and space to openly share your thoughts, struggles and desires. We’ll work together to help move you past hurdles and roadblocks with objective questions and exercises.
