The crazy thing is, success is not a one-size-fits-all concept. It comes in many forms. Maybe success to you is a certain level of financial achievement, giving to a cause you really care about, working less, traveling more, or spending more time with family.
What happens is, we are so formed into who we are based on others' opinions, our community, our culture etc. that we wear them and take them on as our own. We all have dreams and ideas of what our life will look like from a young age. So, we do what we think we’re supposed to do, ticking off the checkboxes along the way– we go to college, we get the job, get married, buy the house, pursue a certain career.. you name it.
As the years go by, we start to find it’s not matching up. And we’ve outgrown what we thought would bring us happiness (cue the mid-life crisis 😉). We never stopped to realize that we were designing a life for a person we didn’t know yet. We didn’t know ourselves. What we’d want. What would make us feel our best or our true desires. The truth is, we all know we need money to live. We also know that success certainly takes consistency and persistence. But, what if success didn’t always look like hard work or “measuring up”?
My work with my coaching clients starts with this very idea. Using creative tools and exercises to start to shift the focus from the external validations and fleeting achievements (we all experience) to finding meaning and fulfillment (on your terms). When you do, you begin to realize that true success is not about accumulating material possessions or the societal accolades, but more about finding your purpose and doing more of what truly excites you. When we start to pay attention to what lights us up - we realize that the things that make us feel alive are clues to our most powerful, impactful work. They are the things that truly bring us meaning.
It's hard to start with an overarching large-scale question like “What’s my purpose?” because it’s often complex. And comes heavy with expectations and unconscious belief systems.
Our simplest wants are often closest to our truest ones. Oftentimes, we overshoot or go for things we think would be worth sharing about. We think that if what we want is not extraordinary by some measure, it’s not worthwhile. But it’s the same mindset that keeps us from little things that make us feel energized and in flow, that bring us meaning. When we think we need to go wider we often need to go deeper.
If you’re looking for support with defining your goals, values, purpose and what success is for you, learn more about how coaching can help!
